Flashback to the Early Days

We are in a fun stage right now. At least, I’m feeling that way today. I’m enjoying full sentences and constant discoveries with my 22-month-old. But, there’s always something that takes me back to those wild early moments we went through.

For this post, I thought I’d share a little flashback to the one memory I have that sums up our newborn experience.

So, here you go…

It was a brisk October day. The weather was clearly saying, fall, but it was still that time of year when being outside was bearable. Accepting that sleep was a challenge for my baby, and that sitting still is not my strong suit, I decided to embrace the great outdoors. Nearly every nap was taken in the carrier, which meant I walked… a lot.

Just because we took active naps did not mean they were enjoyable. My sensitive one struggled to both fall asleep and stay asleep. Honestly, I think he was just generally unimpressed with life outside the womb. And he made his discomfort known nearly all hours of the day.

During the second nap of the day, Konrad was still asleep, and I was about to complete one of my longer strolls when my dog was greeted by a friend. I moved to the side of the road as the two pups chased each other. They were moving at lightning speed, trying to outdo one another. In a blink of an eye, they were behind me. One caught each of my legs, and I flew into the air. In a moment of panic, I managed to protect my baby by making my back parallel to the ground. I crashed hard, and my head bounced off the gravel.

I’m not quite sure what happened in the moments after that, but before long, I was standing up again with my baby still safe and asleep. My head throbbed, and my neck ached, but I survived. And we made it through the nap!

With the headache getting worse, I had to hype myself up for the third nap of the day. It was getting ugly, so I settled on being okay with getting him at least 24 minutes of uninterrupted sleep. Naturally, nothing went according to plan. He was screaming and moving in the carrier—fighting for freedom but also not wanting to be away from me.

I had made it about a mile from the house when things took a turn for the worse. His wailing grew louder, and his thrashing became unavoidable. At one point, I tried to tuck him into the oversized jacket I was wearing, hoping it would distract him from the light and sound that were making it impossible for him to find peace. I passed by some friendly pedestrians as I walked in defeat. They waved and tried to offer comforting words, but I kept my eyes on the ground and walked faster. I had officially joined my son on the “I hate everything” train.

A long and disrupted night of sleep later, my head wasn’t feeling any better. Forgoing our walks, I became a zombie sitting on the couch trying to comfort my son. My husband turned to me with concern in his eyes: “You need to get your head checked out. I can’t do this parenting thing without you.”

So, he went to work, and I went to the ER.

Swinging the infant car seat back and forth, I went over my head injury with the nurse and then the doctor, hoping my son would allow me to finish the story. No such luck. The crying started and would not stop. The kind doctor looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. “You know, you are doing okay. Actually, let me tell you a story about someone who’s having a much harder time…” He then proceeded to tell me about a woman who was struggling to keep her baby tucked inside her jacket.

I looked at him, started to laugh-cry, and admitted, “That was me.” The nurse in the corner taking notes was mortified for the doctor. His only response was to hug me.

And this was only a Tuesday!

So, stay humble, friends. Times can be hard, or they can be great. But, (I guess) no matter what, we will push through this.