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Safe & Rested: Building Your Healthy Sleep Environment

@christine.pelky

The ideal sleep temperature is the one that works

The ideal sleep temperature is the one that works for YOUR baby.

I remember obsessing over the "perfect" sleep temperature when my baby was born. With the September weather starting to get more chilly, I was in fear that he would be freezing. Each night I would walk up to the thermostat multiple times just to check that I didn't forget to set it to the "night time temperature". Even when my cold-natured partner and I were sweating, I was convinced that one degree would make or break his sleep. Joke was on us… turns out that not only was our heating system impossible to maintain that "ideal" 18-22°C everyone talked about, and my child hated the warmth just as much as we did, but our gas fireplace going on and off all night triggered his senses like crazy. You'd think his instincts were telling him that his cave was going up in flames every time it turned on.

Then I was reminded of something that changed everything: babies around the world sleep in all kinds of temperatures. In fact, most households globally do not even have air conditioning! While Western sleep advice often presents one "ideal" temperature range, the reality is much more nuanced. What really matters is not hitting a specific number on the thermostat—it is dressing your baby appropriately for whatever temperature you have. Your baby's body is remarkably adaptable. Check the back of their neck (not hands or nose!) to gauge if they're too hot or cold.

Trust your instincts and watch your baby's cues. Some babies run warm, others cool. Some sleep better bundled up, others prefer less. You know your baby best.

#babysleep #sleeptemperature #parentingtips #babycare

A baby against their mother's skin isn't just feel

A baby against their mother's skin isn't just feeling cozy—they are exactly where biology intended them to be.

Those early hospital days, as I leaned into skin-to-skin contact, I was in awe of the connection. As my baby settled on my chest, I could feel his heart find its rhythm, his breath settle, our beings intertwined. While my body was recovering and my mind was complete mush from exhaustion, there was something deeply instinctual about having him with me that I couldn't ignore. My gut told me to lean into this. Now I understand why. That instinct wasn't just emotional—it was biological. Those precious first moments weren't just about bonding; they were about giving my baby exactly what he needed to thrive.

Nature designed babies to be in constant contact with their caregivers—it is their natural habitat. When separated from their mother's skin, babies show all the signs of physiological stress: unstable temperature, fluctuating heart rate, irregular breathing. In those early hours and days, skin-to-skin contact truly is more than a sweet moment. It helps regulate temperature better than any incubator, stabilizes vital signs, and supports successful breastfeeding. Your warm chest is exactly where your baby is programmed to be.

And for those reading this, remember: It is never too late. Hold your little one close. Whether you're 3 days or 3 months in, your body will forever be your baby's favorite place to be.

#skintoskin #newborn #fourthtrimester #motherhood #attachmentparenting

Telling parents their baby is overtired often crea

Telling parents their baby is overtired often creates more stress—and we know stress doesn’t help with sleep.

I remember the first time someone told me my baby might be overtired. All I could think was, "Well, you try turning his overactive brain off!" I was already overwhelmed trying to get my highly sensitive baby to sleep, breaking a little more each time he let out that soul-crushing purge cry as he drifted off. And now, on top of it all, I had one more thing to stress about—getting this right. I watched him like a hawk through his 90-minute wake window, convinced I was somehow missing the magic moment. At one point, I broke down and cried to my husband, "I don’t think he’s overtired. I think he just wants back in my womb." The pressure to fix overtiredness only made a situation I already felt I was failing in even more frustrating—for both of us.

The idea of overtiredness is everywhere, but the science behind it isn’t as clear-cut as we’re often told. While we know that lack of sleep in adults increases cortisol (our stress hormone), figuring out what "not enough sleep" looks like for babies is much more complicated. Babies under six months, for example, commonly take short naps—sometimes just 30 minutes—and that can be completely normal. Waking up soon after falling asleep at night (often called a “false start”) can happen for so many reasons, like hunger, discomfort, or simply needing extra support to settle.

Rather than fixating on overtiredness, the most helpful thing we can do is tune into our baby’s unique cues. No chart or wake window will tell you exactly what your baby needs, but watching how they respond will. Some days will be smooth, others will be messy, but through it all, you and your baby are learning together.

Sleep changes, just like they do. And sometimes, t

Sleep changes, just like they do. And sometimes, the only thing to do is ride the wave.

It turns out, your child’s sleep is not a puzzle to be solved but a rhythm that constantly evolves. And just when you think you have it figured out, everything shifts. A nap schedule that worked last week goes entirely off the rails, or a solid stretch of restful nights suddenly vanishes. Your exhausted brain, barely capable of rational thought, still manages to ask on repeat: "What is happening?" I remember moments when I felt like I had cracked the code, only to be back at square one. Just when I had enough consistent patterns to feel confident in some sort of predictability, the longest nights of my life would follow… and always when someone was visiting. "Sorry, guest. I can’t see you after 7 PM—my child is a ninja and wakes up the moment I leave the bed."

It really is quite the process when you think about it. In the newborn stage (0-3 months), sleep is unpredictable as their tiny bodies work hard to develop a circadian rhythm. And as dreadful as it is, short naps and frequent wakings are completely normal. By 4-6 months, their sleep cycles begin to mature—only to introduce the start of sleep progressions. Beyond 6 months, factors like teething, separation anxiety, and new skills can disrupt even the best routines. As toddlers, sleep needs gradually decrease, but they still crave moments of connection.

The journey of sleep can be frustrating, exhausting, and often feel never-ending—but then there are those moments when your child finds calm, their chest rises in the most peaceful rhythm, and you are in complete awe of this beautiful human you created. So trust that sleep will change, over and over again, just like your baby will—and through it all, you are doing an amazing job.

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